We have between 25,000 and 50,000 thoughts a day. Some of them are good; others not so much. It’s not possible to have too many good thoughts, but too many negative thoughts can wreak havoc on our life and self-worth. Perhaps you’ve heard yourself say things like: “I can’t do that.” “I don’t have enough talent.” “That’s way too difficult for me.” “If I try, I’m just going to screw up.” Or, when you are about to do something new and outside your comfort zone, a little voice proclaims, “Who do you think you are?!”
If we were to look at such thoughts as an unbiased observer, we might think they come from a cruel tyrannical person whose mission is to destroy our self-confidence. Unfortunately, that tyrant comes from within our minds. Most of us have had self-defeating thoughts or engaged in negative self-talk from time to time. But when it rears its ugly head on a regular basis, it can stop us from achieving our goals and dreams.
Melanie Robbins, television host, author and speaker, noted we will not get to where we want to be if we continue to cheer against ourselves. Sometimes we go against our self-interest in subtle ways, such as diminishing compliments that come our way. For example, someone might say to us, “That is a nice outfit you’re wearing” and instead of fully accepting the compliment, we might say, “This ol’ thing, I just happened to find it in the back of the closet.” We are not only deflecting the compliment, but indirectly we are diminishing ourselves and our own value.
Years ago, when I visited Ghana, West Africa I noticed that when a person was complimented for their dress or how well they did something, the response would be, “It’s true, thank you!” It was not said in a braggadocios way, but from a consciousness of worthiness. It was as if they knew their origin is from divine stuff, and as such they are inherently worthy. Fully accepting a compliment with the response, “It’s true thank you,” even if we just say it to ourselves, is one way to affirm our value and self-worth.
Here are seven other ways to affirm your worth:
Begin each morning by speaking something positive about yourself. It might be how well you took care of a difficult situation, or what you like about yourself. It can be anything that brings a smile to your face.
Nourish your body temple by fueling it with nutritious food and drink. Treat it like the miraculous vessel it is.
Challenge thoughts that do not serve you. Keep at bay the inner critic that seeks to keep us small and safe. When such thoughts arise, simply declare, “This is not true!”
Keep the company of people who are positive, loving and encouraging. Be okay with letting them remind you how amazing you are.
Cease comparing yourself to others. You are a unique unrepeatable expression of the Divine, so there is no one on earth like you. Celebrate that truth. The only person you want to compare yourself to is your previous self to see how far you have come along.
Celebrate whenever you have a win in life - big or small. Acknowledge and appreciate those wins.
And finally, practice the word no. Saying no does not in any way mean you’re a bad person, it demonstrates you’re a smart person who values your well-being.
Peace and Blessings,
James