What’s the difference between people who get what they want in life and those who end up settling only for what they think they can have or achieve?
The critical difference is how they see themselves. What stops many people from living the life they want, love, and deserve is that they don't see themselves the way they need to in order to experience such a life or achieve all their goals. Or, to put it another way, our self-image must match what we want to achieve.
It doesn’t matter how grandiose our plans are or how inspiriting our life vision may be; if we don’t see ourselves as worthy, what we genuinely desire will not manifest. If our desire does show up in a limited form or fashion, it likely will not sustain itself.
So, here are three tools you can use to change how you see yourself to increase the likelihood you can achieve the life you want, love, and deserve:
1. Practice positive self-talk. Words are creative, so what we say to ourselves matters. Our words either tear us down or build us up. Negative statements lead to stress, self-doubt, and anxiety. Positive comments lead to self-confidence, better ways to cope with life, and makes us feel better. And when we feel better, we do better. So, we want to be our best cheerleaders.
2. Appreciate your strengths. You may think you don't do anything well. This thought is not true. We all have something special to offer, and though we may not recognize or see it, it's there. One way to find your strengths is to ask people around you what it is that you do well. Often people we know see us more objectively than we see ourselves.
You can also ask yourself, "What makes me click? What gets me excited?" Write down the things you notice you enjoy doing and look for patterns and see what comes up. Then affirm, "I am good at________." Remind yourself of this often. Remember, your words have power.
3. Protect your confidence! Radiate confidence. Confidence is key to creating the life your heart desires. Confidence determines the quality of your life because the more confident you are, the more magnetism you have. You will build bigger dreams and attract the people you need to help make them come true. Here are five ways you can exude and protect your confidence:
A. First, decide to be confident. You don't need a reason. Just wake up, and as you start your day declare, "Today I am going to be confident."
B. Second, act. The action builds confidence. Confidence is not just believing in yourself; it's a willingness to try. Sometimes you must become someone other than who you think you are. You might say, "I'm shy." That's a belief system. It's a story you can change. If you have to, change that story by being a different person.
C. Three, keep your commitments to yourself. Develop a habit of keeping your promises to yourself. When you say you will do something for yourself, do it. Then, celebrate that.
D. Fourth, change your posture. Keep your head up; stand up straight. Believe it or not, our physiology (or posture) affects our confidence. If you notice someone slumped over, head hanging low, they don't radiate confidence and they don't feel it either.
E. Finally, practicing and persisting is a fifth way to protect your confidence. When you do something repeatedly, and get better and better at it, you become more competent. And when you become more capable, you become more confident.
Those are but five ways to protect your confidence.
To recap, to build your self-concept and create the life you want, love, and deserve, you must practice positive self-talk, appreciate your strengths, and protect your confidence.
Peace and Blessings,