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How to Stop Sabotaging Your Life



From time to time, we shackle ourselves with negative self-sabotaging thoughts that lead to behavior that inevitably stops us from fulfilling our purpose. We have between 25,000 and 50,000 ruminations per day. Some of them are good and positive thoughts, while others not so much.


We may have thought:

"I can't do that!";

"That's way too difficult for me!";

"If I try, I will just screw up."; or,

we may imagine some make-believe person saying,

"Who do you think you are?"


Such statements seem like they come from a brutal or cruel person who is trying to destroy our self-confidence. However, that tyrant comes from within our minds. Or, to quote Jesus, "Our foes are within our household."


Infuse such thoughts with energy, and they lead to behavior that stops us from achieving our dreams and the fulfillment of our purpose. Often, they are on autopilot, and we are unaware that our self-sabotaging behavior is the by-product of those thoughts. But, we can reverse such behavior and move beyond our current station in life.


The first thing we must do to move beyond the previous formation of our life is to, in a word, "transform." We do so by becoming conscious of the state of being we are in when making choices that do not lead to our best lives. We can assess whether we are in a low state of mind by observing our physical bodies. When we feel anything in our life, we feel it through our physical bodies.


We can tell when anyone is in a low or depressed state by observing their body. Imagine a depressed person. Now, take a minute to describe their physical presence. Your description of the person's physical body could be similar to the following: "He's slumped over, with his head and eyes down, and his breathing is shallow. Plus, his facial muscles are down and slack instead of up and tight." So, becoming aware of our physical bodies is a great tool for assessing our state of mind and well-being. Mindfulness meditation helps determine your state of mind as well.


You can observe your thoughts, and when you do, you will likely be surprised at what shows up. To rise above the behavior that does not support the creation of our best lives here and now, we must replace negative routine actions that have become a habit with new, positive habits and behaviors. We need a whole new way of thinking from which we operate. To achieve this new way of thinking, we have to decide not to make the same choices we made the day before. Choosing means cutting away anything not aligned with what we want in life.


It is important to note, however, that once we think and feel differently about ourselves, and begin to take different actions, it will feel uncomfortable at first. This can be expected because we've changed how we have habitually acted, disrupting our familiar and conditioned pattern of living. We may start hearing those authoritative voices in our head telling us, "This does not feel good," "I'm uncomfortable," or "Just do what you've always done." Your internal dialogue may sound something like:


Self: "I'm going to quit my job and go after my dreams."

Habitual Thinking: "Sit yo’ behind down!"

Self: "Okay."


If we succumb to that inner tyrant, we will revert to our conditioned state and paradigm. This decision point is the most challenging moment to make a change because it is tough to stop acting as we have habitually done. When we reach that crucial point, we feel uncertain. The old self is dying, and the new has yet to take hold. We've stepped into a void. However, it is the perfect place to create what we want in life.


If we can become comfortable with being in that place and stay in that unknown space long enough, we can create a new future for ourselves. The future is sometimes a little scary. But if you want to predict the future, you must invent it!


In the meantime, know that if you start thinking about how you will act differently, you will begin creating a new paradigm for how you will show up in this world. Rather than believing the circumstances make it impossible for you to achieve your goal, you start looking for possibilities. Or, instead of waiting to be grateful for a future event, you will give thanks right now, even before you see the physical manifestation.


What happens when you live in this paradigm? You pull away from your past and manifest your future self. Emotionally, when you feel that future in the present moment, you have exponentially increased the chances that the preferred future shows up as your life. As that happens, we rise above those self-sabotaging thoughts to the greater possibilities life has in store for us.


Peace and Blessings,

James


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