Part of my ministerial training included taking what we learned and applying it to real-life situations. They were called practicums. One practicum included praying with people by phone in Silent Unity—Unity Movement’s Worldwide Prayer Ministry.
Tens of thousands of people from different faith traditions across the globe called for prayer support. I discovered that the bulk of the prayer requests centered around three areas: prosperity, health, and relationships. These prayer requests are known as the “Big Three.”
Regarding relationships, the prayer requests were usually like "I want a relationship" or "I want out of a relationship." Many of those calling for relationship prayers based their own self value on whether they were in a relationship or not, and who they were in a relationship with (or, in some cases, who they no longer wanted to be with).
After a while, it dawned on me that what the callers and all of us want beyond the actual relationship is an "at - one - ment" with the great power, presence, and love within our souls. This loving presence, which is beyond words, has not only been given to us before time began, it is the very essence of our life. As we make this loving presence within us our focus, we take full responsibility for our own joy and happiness regardless of whether we are in a relationship.
With that awareness and understanding, a person never enters into a relationship (or tries to get out of one), thinking that is what will make them happy. They realize they are not to enter or leave a relationship to get those things; instead, they are here to bring happiness and joy to themselves and the relationship.
Too often, we let the tail wag the dog by running around looking at the envisioned "right" relationship to make us happy or give us joy (I can attest to this based on my early life experiences). When we have found that perfect relationship, it may provide us with some temporary relief from our thinking. However, eventually, our authentic self shows up, and if we are not bringing happiness, joy, and intelligence to ourselves and the relationship, we end up ushering hell into paradise.
So, a person can end up being with the most charming, loving, wonderful people you could ever meet, but hell will break out because they seek to get something from the other person they haven't brought themselves. The truth is, we cannot have what we do not bring. So we want to move from a mere relationship to that sense of "at - one - ment" so it becomes our primary focus. As we make that our way of being in the world, we bring the joy, the love and the cosmic party wherever we go. That sense of oneness is amplified by like minds and joined by people walking in the same direction.
Peace and Blessings,
James