top of page

What Are Your Defining Words?

"What we focus on and practice is what we become."

Those words popped into my awareness during a recent meditation. Of course, this idea is not original to me. It's existed for a long time and been said in different ways by people wiser and more knowledgeable than me. As I thought more about that truism, I recognized that one of the most important areas to bring into focus is how we describe ourselves. How we see ourselves and what we say about ourselves strongly influences what our life experiences will be. According to one study reported in Psychology Today, 70 percent of people's spontaneous self-talk is negative. Whether we know it or not, it is influencing what we are becoming and how our life shows up.

There is a simple practice we can use to counteract this trend: creating a clarity chart.

We can create a worksheet and keep it next to our computer, workspace or playspace. The purpose of the worksheet is to continually remind us how we want to define ourselves. Put three words on the sheet in each of the following categories:

  • Self - Identify three words that will now define the best of who you are. You will use them to guide your personal life, thoughts and actions. Three words I am using at this time are "transformer, inspirer and doer."

  • Interactions - Identify three words that will now define and guide how you will engage and treat others whom you meet in life, including your loved ones and strangers. At the moment, I've chosen to focus on "presence, interest and support."

  • Success Markers - Identify three words that will now remind you of what it is that made you the most successful and will make you even more successful in the future. Right now I've chosen "vision, risk-taker and perseverance."

Your defining words can be any words that describe how you want to be, even if you feel you are not quite there yet. The more we identify ourselves with them, the more we will find ways to demonstrate those words in our lives so that they show up as our lives.

You can take the words on your sheet and program them to appear when an alarm sounds on your phone. The alarm can go off several times a day. Or you can set up some other system or habit so you continually refer to this sheet and remind yourself who to be, how to interact with others and what will make you successful in life.

This will keep you focused on how you want to show up each moment of the day and help you live with intention. And we know that a life of intentionality is a life well-lived.

Peace and Blessings,


7 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All
bottom of page